I’ll be your Emmylou and I’ll be your June
If you’ll be my Graham and my Johnny, too
No, I’m not asking much of you
Just sing little darling, sing with me
been singing this for like 2 days straight!
Real Life Church, an awesome megachurch church in Valencia, CA called me back today about finding housing through their young adults ministry, which is lead by a guy who works for Dreamworks and used to teach at CalArts. I’m supposed to be expecting an email from him. Glen Keane, Disney legend attends this church as well and has spoken there a couple times! PRAISE GOD, I really hope this brings answers, I am not feeling too at peace lately.
i’ll confess soemtimes i intentionally do not reply to people on facebook simply because i do not want to talk to them
is that some sort of crime
is that some sort of CRIME
being emptied emotionally as i begin to step out of the skin i’ve always known
why does it feel like i am leaving so much more than a room full of stuff in a city with awesome friends
i feel like i’m about to lose ME
but i really am, that is the case. the fear and humility/humiliation is starting to grip me when time is getting crucial.
there is so much going on in my head i sat in hannah’s car my myself for almost 45 min in silence just blahdsfkas
i feel like i can’t talk it out, because there is such tumultuous change going on in my heart and i’m seeing precious things pour out away from me with no guarantee that they will ever come back to me. I really need Jesus in this time. he’s my only rock and foundation, the only true thing to my heart and in my whole life. i honestly don’t care, i don’t care at all when it comes down to it where i go or end up, whether it’s animation or not. i just want to have the wholeness he offers me when i feel like i’m losing everything else i’ve ever known.
i can’t help feeling like i should start begging God for someone to really bring out the best in me, to encourage me and be a light, water and encouragement for my soul. i’m feeling afraid of being alone, not so much for loneliness though that is weighing on me as well- but i am just so afraid of what I might become when I am all alone out there in the unknown. I am not as faithful as I seem or wish i was. God just needs to continue to change my heart, and guide it, guard it completely. I almost wish i could just hold my hands over my eyes as i’m on this scary rollercoaster. but i have so much to do and my eyes burn and i have this weird heaviness and i can’t smile or talk to my friends the joyful way i could even a week ago. i just feel shifted. i’m getting emptied, poured out.
please pray for me, pleeeease. i’m terrified as crap.
